20 Lineman Jokes That’ll Shock You (In a Good Way)

Lineman jokes aren’t just funny, they’re proof you’ve survived a 40-hour week of busted knuckles and bad coffee. Here’s the best damn list of lineman humor you’ll find anywhere: clean enough to share, real enough to make your crew howl.

If you’ve ever spent your morning 50 feet in the air trying not to drop your wrench or your breakfast, then yeah, this list is for you. Lineman jokes are about survival. They’re how we break tension, bust balls, and remind each other that we’re all hanging on the same line.

Whether you’re a journeyman looking for a few fresh one-liners, a rookie catching heat from the crew, or just someone who loves a good pun with some volts behind it, welcome. These lineman jokes are jobsite-tested, apprentice-approved, and built to climb.

Let’s get into it.

The Best Lineman One-Liners (That Even Your Foreman Will Laugh At)

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear harnesses, carry a hot stick, and drop one-liners that’ll light up your whole crew. These lineman jokes are short, punchy, and clean enough to share at lunch without getting side-eyed by the safety guy.

• Why don’t linemen ever play hide and seek?
  Because good luck hiding when you're 40 feet in the air.
• Drinks on the house?
  Yeah, and when you're a lineman, that’s not just a rumor.
• What’s a ground worker?
  A lineman who’s still afraid of heights.
• Why did the lineman skip leg day?
  He didn’t. He climbs poles for breakfast.
• What do you call a lineman with a bad attitude?
  Shocking.
• How do linemen stay in shape?
  Who needs the gym when you’ve got 12-hour pole climbs?

These jokes are perfect for morning meetings, foreman presentations, or that one buddy who keeps his hard hat way too clean. Print 'em, gift 'em, or just hit copy and paste, we won’t judge.

Jokes That Only Real Linemen Will Get (Inside Humor From the Yard)

Some jokes just hit different when you’ve pulled a 16-hour shift, taken a transformer to the face, and still made the safety meeting on time. This is the kind of humor that never shows up on a Hallmark card, but every lineman on your crew knows exactly what it means.

• “Zip tie certified.”
  Translation: You’ve MacGyvered enough gear to pass inspection, barely.
• “There are only two cants in line work: can’t hook and can’t hack it.”
  If that one stings, maybe go grab the broom.
• “Going cold!”
  It’s not just a phrase. It’s the moment the whole job site collectively tenses up, until someone makes a fart noise and breaks the silence.
• “Electrify, not beautify.”
  The motto of every guy who’s ever said, “It ain’t pretty, but it works.”

This is the kind of humor that builds crews, breaks rookies, and makes a Wednesday in the rain a little less miserable.

New guys always ask, “Am I just a punchline until I earn my stripes?”

Short answer? Yeah. Long answer? That’s how you get your stripes. If you’re not getting roasted, you’re not in yet.

These sayings aren’t just jokes, they’re rites of passage. The kind of lines you don’t hear until you’ve earned the right to laugh at them

Lineman Sticker Sayings (You’ve Probably Seen These on a Hard Hat)

Hard hats aren’t just for safety; they’re for sarcasm, sass, and sticker warfare. If a guy’s lid is clean, either he’s brand new or HR got to him first. The rest of us? We treat that dome like a battle vest.

• “Spit on That Thang”
  The universal motto for getting a stubborn bolt loose, or for fixing anything, really.
• “Still Broke”
  Because no matter how many hours you put in, it somehow all goes to diesel, beer, and child support.
• “Peace Was Never an Option”
  Says the guy who’s already screaming at the scissor lift before 8 AM.

These are crew codes. They tell your story before you even open your mouth. From the apprentice who slapped on “Zip Tie Certified” after his first solo climb to the foreman with “Power Napper” slapped on the back of his bucket, every sticker earns its place.

Even the memes make their way into the mix. Someone once showed up wearing hiking boots instead of proper work boots. It became a joke. Then a sticker. Then an unofficial warning label.

And yeah, we’ve seen some gear that looks more like a meme page than a safety setup. That’s the point. Jobsite humor sticks because it sticks.

Clean Lineman Jokes for Family, Kids, and Training Meetings

Not every joke on the job has to get you written up. Sometimes, you just need a good, clean laugh you can share with your kid, your crew, or your crusty old foreman who swears he’s “not a joke guy” (until he hears a good one).

• “Why did the lineman bring a ladder to the bar?”
  Because the drinks were on the house.
• “What do you call a lineman afraid of heights?”
  A ground worker.
• “How do linemen stay strong?”
  They do pole-ups.
• “Why did the lineman get kicked out of art school?”
  He couldn’t stop drawing lines.
• “What’s a lineman’s favorite dance?”
  The electric slide.

These are the kind of jokes you can throw in a foreman’s birthday card, print on a hi-vis tee for your kid, or sneak into a toolbox safety meeting without catching a lecture.

Dirty Lineman Jokes You’d Only Hear Off the Clock

Alright, let’s be real. Some jokes are for break time. Others are for the tailgate after a 12-hour shift when the work’s done, the boots are off, and nobody’s around to clutch their pearls.

This is that section.

• “Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day.”
  …Close enough, man. We knew what you meant.
• “There’s no ‘I’ in team, but there are two in dick-licker.”
  Classic roast, usually fired at someone who double-knotted their laces like they’re hiking Everest.

Want to Wear the Joke, Not Just Read It?

Grab lineman shirts, hi-vis gags, and sticker packs built for crews who start before sunrise and still have jokes by lunch.